The wide disconnect between our spirituality and emotional health remains one of the greatest challenges in the church today, especially among us as leaders.
The following is a modified, slimmed down version of the widely used EHS Personal Assessment. It is also found in The Emotionally Healthy Relationships Course.
The following list of statements offer a brief assessment of where you are on the continuum of being an emotionally mature Christian. Next to each statement, write down the number that best describes your response. Use the following scale:
5 = Always true of me
4 = Frequently true of me
3 = Occasionally true of me
2 = Rarely true of me
1 = Never true of me
_____ 1. I am deeply convinced I am loved by Christ, and do not inappropriately borrow that love from others.
_____ 2. I love my neighbor as I love myself – embracing my singleness as I bond with others, or in marriage, giving first priority to my spouse and children.
_____ 3. I am able to leave my family of origin and function as an inner-directed, separate adult.
_____ 4. I am deeply in tune with my own emotions and feelings.
_____ 5. I am able to listen with empathy without having to fix, change or save others.
_____ 6. I can speak clearly, honestly, and respectfully on my own behalf.
_____ 7. I can express anger, hurt, or fear without blaming, appeasing, or holding grudges.
_____ 8. I value my own dignity as a human being made in God’s image through self-respect and self-care.
_____ 9. I walk in community while respecting each person’s uniqueness.
_____ 10. I can receive criticism without defensiveness.
_____ 11. I can state my own beliefs and values without becoming adversarial.
_____ 12. I live in truth, not pretense, spin, illusions, or exaggerations.
_____ 13. I embrace my limits as a gift.
_____ 14. I am able to negotiate, respect, and celebrate the differentness I have with others.
_____ 15. I am willing to initiate and repair relationships (as much as it is possible) when they have been ruptured.
Take a moment to briefly review your responses. What stands out most to you?
If your responses aren’t what you’d hoped, you are not alone. Wherever you find yourself, the great news is that a little awareness and making a few changes can have an immediate and positive impact both in your personal life and on those around you.